And how to manage work and study both is still a question, up in the air, makes me anxious yet nothing can be done to help it, just focus on what I am doing at the moment.
From time to time take a glance at news, see what's going on in the world, listen to the voices of the world, the remote outside world, like finally pop my head up above the water very quick once, take a good fresh breath.
I said that I didn't want university to begin again, because I really need to work. (it's not because you want to, it's because you need to) Now I'm actually thrilled by the idea of doing them both, it's such a challenge that I had no idea about, I'm like a knight gonna face off an unknown monster. On the other hand it's exciting to see my friends again and see how much I've changed myself, a short summer I made more stories of myself, I changed color of my hair, being homeless and slept on street for three nights, tried to sell beer on street to strangers, finally got a job and making a decent earning, all dramatic things burst into my life after 22 years' boring repetitive life.
Another thing that I've been thinking a lot of is to create a Podcast of my own with a friend, like Rhett and Link, like Jake and Amir, but the only problem is I don't have a friend like Rhett and Link have each others, nobody is really like me, it's just so difficult to find someone I admire and he/she admires me as well and we share same interests. I love talking, speaking, yet there is no stage for me to talk to speak, talking to myself is too much "me" involved, I need to talk to people, people that I'm interested in, and there are a few of them out there.
Showing posts with label RogerThat Ramble. Show all posts
Showing posts with label RogerThat Ramble. Show all posts
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Saturday, August 29, 2015
About spending---who buys the expensive stuff?
My father is really cheap in terms of spending on general stuff. He used to buy a whole bunch of cheap pencils thought that he took some advantages, but turned out the pencils don't write at all. Almost anything he buys will break in no more than a month because he always buy the cheapest.
"The expensive clothes and shoes and gadgets are all manufactured in the same factor with the cheap ones, it's all a difference of the distribution channel." this is his wisdom.
But seriously, there are a lot of brand stuff that are just slightly better, either it's established in the business, having better customer services, better design or took monopoly in that technology, but the price could be ten times more than a non-brand product.
I most time just go with the non-brand ones and just satisfy the basic needs, like headphones, I'd rather get a 15 Euro one than a one hundred Euro one, since I'm not living on listening to stuff.
So, question is, who buys those over priced brand product?
The average income of Italian citizens is about 25k US dollar a year, breaks down to a 2k a month, which means taking 1k monthly necessities they still have plenty to spend, you can buy an expensive computer every one or two month if you tight your belt a little bit. And that is just "average".
Think about there's a smaller group of people we call middle class, who earns some more than 2k a month, maybe 3-5k, and this group of people are those really buy all the brand products.
Economy is like many circles intersecting each other. Living on 1k Euro monthly, my father of course can't stand spending money on any big brand, he thinks they are stealing from people. But there are people who can make way more and they are more entitled to consume higher class stuff. And that's enough for the economy to run, enough for the big companies to grow even bigger.
"The expensive clothes and shoes and gadgets are all manufactured in the same factor with the cheap ones, it's all a difference of the distribution channel." this is his wisdom.
But seriously, there are a lot of brand stuff that are just slightly better, either it's established in the business, having better customer services, better design or took monopoly in that technology, but the price could be ten times more than a non-brand product.
I most time just go with the non-brand ones and just satisfy the basic needs, like headphones, I'd rather get a 15 Euro one than a one hundred Euro one, since I'm not living on listening to stuff.
So, question is, who buys those over priced brand product?
The average income of Italian citizens is about 25k US dollar a year, breaks down to a 2k a month, which means taking 1k monthly necessities they still have plenty to spend, you can buy an expensive computer every one or two month if you tight your belt a little bit. And that is just "average".
Think about there's a smaller group of people we call middle class, who earns some more than 2k a month, maybe 3-5k, and this group of people are those really buy all the brand products.
Economy is like many circles intersecting each other. Living on 1k Euro monthly, my father of course can't stand spending money on any big brand, he thinks they are stealing from people. But there are people who can make way more and they are more entitled to consume higher class stuff. And that's enough for the economy to run, enough for the big companies to grow even bigger.
Mentality in working life
Back in the days when I was unemployed, I had plenty of time just being alone in a quiet environment and not to worry too much what's happening next. I had all the time I needed to think about life, think about my attitude towards life yet nothing very valuable really came to form.
Now I'm busy at work and rarely get some free time, so it's time to summarize what I feel what I think from the perspective of a working person, does it make any difference to me as a student?
What made me happy when I was just a student:
1.good food
2.party time
3.being with friends
4.gaming
5.reading
6.watching videos/films
7.buy cool stuff
What makes me happy now when I'm working:
all those things above, plus FREE TIME
Now I've got more money to buy, but less time to consume, the combination is always a tradeoff, you either possess more time or money, you can hardly get them both together as a young man just started your career.
Mentality is important.
These days I've been using Wolf of Wall Street theme to psych myself up before go to work. I listen to the soundtrack from the movie and real Jordan Belfort's speeches, I tell myself that I'm going to make money, to confront the clients, to master the art of being professional. I do the hum song on my way to work. And my ambition grows as I did so, I think bigger and further when I try to relate myself to the "wolf", I see more possibilities than just working for someone all my life and make no more than 20k a year, I want 10 times of my current pay, 200k a year. I want to take charge of a hotel or apartment on my own, be on my own, maybe still pay my partners but it would be working on my own schedule, working for myself.
It's just a month since I got this job. What do I feel about the job? It's a start up, full of possibilities, new partnership just brought in new opportunities for us as a player in this business. The working environment is lax and flexible(but most of the time I over work), relationship with colleagues and boss is simple and we love each other. About business ideas, I may have my own way of thinking but that's not my business, I only take orders and get things done on behalf of my boss. It's challenging, not boring daily desk-sitting job. The pay is very generous for a student yet not satisfying when considering my ambition and potential. So overall I like the job very much, especially the first a few days I was very excited, but after a month the enthusiasm just faded away inevitably, now I feel like having more free time, I demand more control on my own.
To be happy, you just make yourself think that you are happy.
Do a meditation with me, think about your job tomorrow, there must be something exciting about it, either new challenge, new events, new faces or just think about the pay, there must be something in it. Everyday you are growing stronger and more independent, every day's hardship will reward you in the future, it will all build up to your future ideal career.
Give yourself a smile, because you are doing a heck of good job!
About spending
After I got the job, I was so excited, I thought I was suddenly rich, I counted on the future pay, like some sort of credit in my mind, I started to spend in advance, I purchased this surface pro 3 that I'm using to write this blog right now, and just installed Skyrim last night (this is an amazing tablet-laptop hybrid). The four weeks since I got the job I spent €1,816.55 including the surface tablet (965Euro), 250Euro rent, 138 Euro for yearly stay permit application in Italy.
Why do I spend so much? Mentality. Instead of rational spending and saving, I thought, now my income just increased about 10 times, so my expenditure should be allowed within 10 times as much as before... but wrong, before I got support from my parents, I tried to save every penny for them, now I'm on my own but still I need to save every penny for myself.
Next month, my second four weeks, I'm gonna try to do some saving, control my spending. Well, rent is 290 Euro cannot be changed, food probably takes up to 300 Euro, then there's 800 Euro left, it's quite a big amount, even bigger if I ever know to save and prepare for investing.
But it's just unrealistic to save all the 800Euro, let's say my goal is to save 500 Euro next four weeks. Add 500 Euro every month on my bank account not the other way around! Let's get started!
day dreaming: one day I will make 10,000 a month and won't mind whatever I bought any more
Now I'm busy at work and rarely get some free time, so it's time to summarize what I feel what I think from the perspective of a working person, does it make any difference to me as a student?
What made me happy when I was just a student:
1.good food
2.party time
3.being with friends
4.gaming
5.reading
6.watching videos/films
7.buy cool stuff
What makes me happy now when I'm working:
all those things above, plus FREE TIME
Now I've got more money to buy, but less time to consume, the combination is always a tradeoff, you either possess more time or money, you can hardly get them both together as a young man just started your career.
Mentality is important.
These days I've been using Wolf of Wall Street theme to psych myself up before go to work. I listen to the soundtrack from the movie and real Jordan Belfort's speeches, I tell myself that I'm going to make money, to confront the clients, to master the art of being professional. I do the hum song on my way to work. And my ambition grows as I did so, I think bigger and further when I try to relate myself to the "wolf", I see more possibilities than just working for someone all my life and make no more than 20k a year, I want 10 times of my current pay, 200k a year. I want to take charge of a hotel or apartment on my own, be on my own, maybe still pay my partners but it would be working on my own schedule, working for myself.
It's just a month since I got this job. What do I feel about the job? It's a start up, full of possibilities, new partnership just brought in new opportunities for us as a player in this business. The working environment is lax and flexible(but most of the time I over work), relationship with colleagues and boss is simple and we love each other. About business ideas, I may have my own way of thinking but that's not my business, I only take orders and get things done on behalf of my boss. It's challenging, not boring daily desk-sitting job. The pay is very generous for a student yet not satisfying when considering my ambition and potential. So overall I like the job very much, especially the first a few days I was very excited, but after a month the enthusiasm just faded away inevitably, now I feel like having more free time, I demand more control on my own.
To be happy, you just make yourself think that you are happy.
Do a meditation with me, think about your job tomorrow, there must be something exciting about it, either new challenge, new events, new faces or just think about the pay, there must be something in it. Everyday you are growing stronger and more independent, every day's hardship will reward you in the future, it will all build up to your future ideal career.
Give yourself a smile, because you are doing a heck of good job!
About spending
After I got the job, I was so excited, I thought I was suddenly rich, I counted on the future pay, like some sort of credit in my mind, I started to spend in advance, I purchased this surface pro 3 that I'm using to write this blog right now, and just installed Skyrim last night (this is an amazing tablet-laptop hybrid). The four weeks since I got the job I spent €1,816.55 including the surface tablet (965Euro), 250Euro rent, 138 Euro for yearly stay permit application in Italy.
Why do I spend so much? Mentality. Instead of rational spending and saving, I thought, now my income just increased about 10 times, so my expenditure should be allowed within 10 times as much as before... but wrong, before I got support from my parents, I tried to save every penny for them, now I'm on my own but still I need to save every penny for myself.
Next month, my second four weeks, I'm gonna try to do some saving, control my spending. Well, rent is 290 Euro cannot be changed, food probably takes up to 300 Euro, then there's 800 Euro left, it's quite a big amount, even bigger if I ever know to save and prepare for investing.
But it's just unrealistic to save all the 800Euro, let's say my goal is to save 500 Euro next four weeks. Add 500 Euro every month on my bank account not the other way around! Let's get started!
day dreaming: one day I will make 10,000 a month and won't mind whatever I bought any more
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Less and Less Free Time
One month ago, when I count my free time I count days.
Now I count free time by hours.
Finish work a bit early is a thing worth celebrating, thinking of a few extra free hours before tomorrow's work I feel excited.
A full time job suddenly changed my life routine (lazy routine).
Working at hotel does not allow you to get more pay if you work more. It all depends on the reservations. So we work hard on marketing, expecting more people to check in, to fill our calendar up, but still we get only fixed monthly salary.
Running one apartment is enough to feed three people, just think about all those real estate owners, they can just sit home and count money without effort. The bigger the company is, the easier you can control everything. When the company is small, you have to micro manage everything, it will exhaust you if you don't upgrade your size soon enough.
But once my company grew big, where will I be? Do I still maintain the website, take care of guests and handle email? Or will I be promoted to manage one of the property? I don't know where am I going on this path of career, I wish there will be someday I step back to behind the scenes. But it will be a long hard time before that.
Next short term goal: save up to €10,000, master more skills
middle term goal: invest money into financial market, capital market.
Now I count free time by hours.
Finish work a bit early is a thing worth celebrating, thinking of a few extra free hours before tomorrow's work I feel excited.
A full time job suddenly changed my life routine (lazy routine).
Working at hotel does not allow you to get more pay if you work more. It all depends on the reservations. So we work hard on marketing, expecting more people to check in, to fill our calendar up, but still we get only fixed monthly salary.
Running one apartment is enough to feed three people, just think about all those real estate owners, they can just sit home and count money without effort. The bigger the company is, the easier you can control everything. When the company is small, you have to micro manage everything, it will exhaust you if you don't upgrade your size soon enough.
But once my company grew big, where will I be? Do I still maintain the website, take care of guests and handle email? Or will I be promoted to manage one of the property? I don't know where am I going on this path of career, I wish there will be someday I step back to behind the scenes. But it will be a long hard time before that.
Next short term goal: save up to €10,000, master more skills
middle term goal: invest money into financial market, capital market.
Saturday, August 22, 2015
What is the purpose of life? Unpractical university study
1. Working has become my life these 22 days.
Parties? no more.
Now I wonder if it's possible to continue my work while studying.. or to say continue my study while working.
What's the purpose of life? That day I talked about this topic with my friend. His answer is to travel, to be with nature, enjoy life. My answer is the opposite, I want to make more money to prove my value and power, making money is like the score you gain when you play the game of living in a society, that itself is a fun thing, not because money can buy things, but because accumulating money or proving your power of making money triggers something in your brain that makes you satisfied.
Another question, making money and spending money, which one do you like more?
2. I really want to complain, the theories we study at university is simply not practical, they are just useless in real battle field, it's like teaching you all the theories about how and why weapons are made and never teach you to use them. that's exactly the thing you realize when you are enrolled in economics and management course at college.
My ideal education for university is, to divide people into two groups, volunteerly, one group is theorist, they are taught all the theories we are taught right now, they are meant to become scholar, professor, analyst or others, and another group should be put right into business practice, put them into a job, retail, real estate, tourism, manufacturing, design, whatever you have in your local community, putting your students in real world situation to train them is the best thing a university can provide their students.
I study economics and management, and I don't find anything from my textbook useful in my real life work in hotel management. I mean, all those theories are like some kind of summary, instead of a method, you can't apply any of them to your job, you only write them down like a log after your work. We students are taught all those things smart people left us through out hundreds of years society evolution, they are valuable but not helpful.
To learn real things, you need to learn from your colleagues, your supervisor, your customer, your daily handling situations, not from abstracted concepts and definitions.
3. What is the purpose of your life?
I used to believe, my life purpose is to explore the secret of universe, to unveil the mystery of beings, to get engaged into a conversation with "God", the eventual power source of the universe.
Well it's still our purpose, the entire human being as a whole share the same purpose of existing, that is to discover the unknown behind our existence.
But now I'm looking more closely to those things that are really near and big in my life, how to survive, how to make money, they are vital, they are relevant to my living.
Infact, if I had enough money I could really dive into the world of discovering unknowns, even if not to invest billions into science, at least having a piece of peaceful place to focus my own mind on philosophy, to read and think and write.
The reason why I chose economics as my major now, is because I loved philosophy and poetry. Oh, how come? I used to write a lot of poems, long series of poetry, imitating Faust and Also Sprach Zarathustra, trying to touch on grand topics such as God, life, universe, unknowns etc. I wrote really a lot, but in the end I felt empty, I exhausted my imagination and I started to looking into myself, what did I have, to be qualified to write things. I had not much. So that was my limit, if I ever want to move further, I had to dive into real life, real social life, to party, to work, to know how to get to upstream in this world, to experience things that I couldn't or didn't. So studying economics is a good way to get real, right? That's why I chose economics, and I found a lot of fun in this area.
I wish I knew everything about money, about banking, about all kinds of indicators on news, knew what is really going on under the cover of news' words.
Maybe someday I would wonder, what was worth my youth in my job? Was that really worth the pay I got?
4. I don't know the answer of "do you like Venice?". I have no answer now. This island traumatised me, all worst things ever happened to me happened after I came on to this island, yet I also discover many good things such as my friends and job. I know losing stuff is not the island's fault, it's Mafia's fault probably. How do I regard this island? It's complex, I live here, I'm numbed about its beauty, I don't sigh about the beauty of the island, I don't get amazed, I'm used to it, like old couple being together for 50 years. What am I excited about living here?
I wish I could live on land, not island, I want to ride bike, I want to run on street without climbing up and down any bridge, I want to pursue endless horizon, not the edge of artificial island. I'm not happy with living in Venice considering the environment, I need to get back on earth, dry place, plants, beautiful sky with clouds...
Sottomarina looks so beautiful, I wish I could live there, but I work in Venice.
Parties? no more.
Now I wonder if it's possible to continue my work while studying.. or to say continue my study while working.
What's the purpose of life? That day I talked about this topic with my friend. His answer is to travel, to be with nature, enjoy life. My answer is the opposite, I want to make more money to prove my value and power, making money is like the score you gain when you play the game of living in a society, that itself is a fun thing, not because money can buy things, but because accumulating money or proving your power of making money triggers something in your brain that makes you satisfied.
Another question, making money and spending money, which one do you like more?
2. I really want to complain, the theories we study at university is simply not practical, they are just useless in real battle field, it's like teaching you all the theories about how and why weapons are made and never teach you to use them. that's exactly the thing you realize when you are enrolled in economics and management course at college.
My ideal education for university is, to divide people into two groups, volunteerly, one group is theorist, they are taught all the theories we are taught right now, they are meant to become scholar, professor, analyst or others, and another group should be put right into business practice, put them into a job, retail, real estate, tourism, manufacturing, design, whatever you have in your local community, putting your students in real world situation to train them is the best thing a university can provide their students.
I study economics and management, and I don't find anything from my textbook useful in my real life work in hotel management. I mean, all those theories are like some kind of summary, instead of a method, you can't apply any of them to your job, you only write them down like a log after your work. We students are taught all those things smart people left us through out hundreds of years society evolution, they are valuable but not helpful.
To learn real things, you need to learn from your colleagues, your supervisor, your customer, your daily handling situations, not from abstracted concepts and definitions.
3. What is the purpose of your life?
I used to believe, my life purpose is to explore the secret of universe, to unveil the mystery of beings, to get engaged into a conversation with "God", the eventual power source of the universe.
Well it's still our purpose, the entire human being as a whole share the same purpose of existing, that is to discover the unknown behind our existence.
But now I'm looking more closely to those things that are really near and big in my life, how to survive, how to make money, they are vital, they are relevant to my living.
Infact, if I had enough money I could really dive into the world of discovering unknowns, even if not to invest billions into science, at least having a piece of peaceful place to focus my own mind on philosophy, to read and think and write.
The reason why I chose economics as my major now, is because I loved philosophy and poetry. Oh, how come? I used to write a lot of poems, long series of poetry, imitating Faust and Also Sprach Zarathustra, trying to touch on grand topics such as God, life, universe, unknowns etc. I wrote really a lot, but in the end I felt empty, I exhausted my imagination and I started to looking into myself, what did I have, to be qualified to write things. I had not much. So that was my limit, if I ever want to move further, I had to dive into real life, real social life, to party, to work, to know how to get to upstream in this world, to experience things that I couldn't or didn't. So studying economics is a good way to get real, right? That's why I chose economics, and I found a lot of fun in this area.
I wish I knew everything about money, about banking, about all kinds of indicators on news, knew what is really going on under the cover of news' words.
Maybe someday I would wonder, what was worth my youth in my job? Was that really worth the pay I got?
4. I don't know the answer of "do you like Venice?". I have no answer now. This island traumatised me, all worst things ever happened to me happened after I came on to this island, yet I also discover many good things such as my friends and job. I know losing stuff is not the island's fault, it's Mafia's fault probably. How do I regard this island? It's complex, I live here, I'm numbed about its beauty, I don't sigh about the beauty of the island, I don't get amazed, I'm used to it, like old couple being together for 50 years. What am I excited about living here?
I wish I could live on land, not island, I want to ride bike, I want to run on street without climbing up and down any bridge, I want to pursue endless horizon, not the edge of artificial island. I'm not happy with living in Venice considering the environment, I need to get back on earth, dry place, plants, beautiful sky with clouds...
Sottomarina looks so beautiful, I wish I could live there, but I work in Venice.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
The Life We Can Afford
我会捧着一本他的书，坐在家里一个角落里，自己沏一壶茶，非常简陋，一边读书一边“品茶”。
没有风景，没有与大自然的亲近，没有上等的茶叶茶具，不懂得如何体会茶味，我告诉自己，生活不一定要身处上游，得了一切才能美好，简单，无知也可以体会生活的美，正所谓不求甚解。
时常无中生有般地生发感触，开始抒发情怀与感想，最好搭配着最喜欢的最古典的中国风流行乐，非常自得其乐。
如此生活，正是无忧无虑的最好状态。古人大概如此度过了许许多多的日子，可今人恐怕没有这样好的运气来享受悠闲。
悠闲是有代价的。我转身忘了悠闲，忘了细节中的感触，开始关怀实际，关怀大环境，关怀人生宇宙。转头抛弃了打磨筛检过的语言，曾在海边拾贝般地琢磨，都被最后的浪头一点一点吞没，毫无痛苦地。
于是，我过着一种新的生活。向上看着，向未来期盼着，伸手去接着……
I know that life wasn't the one I could afford.
Nokia Lumia 530 -- Review
My older phone has been having problems, it's a small Chinese brand, pretty powerful phone but after two years issues started coming up, the touchscreen keyboard isn't working well, some letters literally cannot be typed, neither can Enter button, then you know it's time to say goodbye to this phone. external buttons are getting old as well, have to push really hard to light screen up. Most annoyingly is that it's Chinese operating system called Yun OS, which is based on Android but many world main stream apps are not supported, especially google's apps are impossible to install on it (because I can't use Google Play Store on the phone).
I went to Mediaworld and I went for Nokia/windows directly, it's been in my mind for quite a while, my laptop is windows 8.1, my tablet is also windows OS, now if my phone is also windows, everything will just match up.
There were two Lumia 530 respectively labelled 59.99 Euro and 69.99 Euro, but they are exactly the same except one is green another one is orange. I asked the staff what's with the price difference, he told me that there's absolutely no difference, just that the one with orange shell is on promotion, so it's 10 Euro cheaper... What? Just because of the color? Don't people like orange color?
Here is the link to the official site of Lumia 530, the official price is 79.99 Euro?
Some statistics: 4'' display (fairly small but I don't really mind, I'm not a mobile reader or gamer)
4 GB internal memory (this one looks really humble, although I hardly use even half of the 16 GB storage in my previous phone, this one left me only 1 GB free space after system taking up other 3GB, so I put a 32GB SD card in it)
5.0MP Camera (seriously, I have no idea about this parameter, 5 million pixel, I just looked it up, although it still doesn't mean anything to me. Honestly, the camera sucks, don't count on this camera to snap good photos, it's purely practically functional, but it's enough for me, considering I've got some real good video/photo cameras)
Windows 8.1 OS, love it, I'm a windows 8 fan, it's just so futuristic to see all the colorful tiles on screen instead of traditional matrix of apps.
So far this gadget just feels so right in my hand, I love it. It's nothing attractive to those of you who are really into those new, powerful, multifunctional mobiles, it's low end, practical, fully functional smartphone, it's just perfect for me, I don't even think about asking for more, there's nothing else I really NEED from a smartphone.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Why we work so much? Keynes' 15-hour working week prediction
"Back in 1930, Keynes predicted that the working week would be drastically cut, to perhaps 15 hours a week, with people choosing to have far more leisure as their material needs were satisfied."
However that's so not the case of today, is it? We work from Monday to Friday still, and even more over time working, it's not rare to see in the news that some young talent worked to their death at desk.
How come? We have achieved way greater economy size and material richness, how come we didn't realize the prediction of Keynes and still work so much that we literally work ourselves to death?
Essentially it is because of our human nature.
Wait... isn't human nature pursuing leisurely life? If nobody tells you to, you probably wouldn't go to work, if it's not that you have to feed your family, you probably just want to lay on sofa and watch TV all day long?
Yes, it is true that we have the laziness in our nature. But there's another side of our nature that can easily be ignored, that is the pursuing of higher level enjoyment and mental satisfaction.
Speaking of higher level enjoyment, we surely can feed ourselves well if everybody just work 2-3 days a week to earn the necessities and never worry about other things. But it isn't what our world looks like. We feed ourselves well, then we would come up with new ideas, new goals, new ambitions, we would try new things, invent new things, create new things, all of these cost times and effort. Getting fed well is never human's main goal, we want to feed ourselves not only food, but also tastes, exoticism, superiority, luxury... and greed drives us to create more temptation for others while we are tempted by something else, we want more money, accumulate more wealth, so we create stuff we didn't have to own. One shirt is enough to cover your body in summer, but people don't just have one shirt in their closet, that's because they have higher level of demand than just covering themselves. That demand, is the source of endless labor of human beings. One guy created something really appealing, he sets a high price, the others then must work more to get that piece of new item, and in this way our standard of living has been constantly lift higher and higher as economy grows. That's why we will NEVER reach a stage where we'll work significantly less hours than today we do as a whole.
Secondly, there's the psychological thing playing trick on us, we want to be better, not just better than where we were 100 years ago, but better than our peers, as a lawyer, I must make more money than other lawyers, a doctor, I want to be more successful than other doctors... this kind of competition is another main engine drives us working endlessly harder and harder. We are all like the rabbit with a carrot hanging in front of our face, keep chasing, but never reach it. The bigger the carrot is, the faster and more "tiredlessly" we chase after it. Rich people might choose working over enjoying leisure since their pay per hour is so high that they may even consider having some time off isn't worth it.
And it is fun to do so, it is fun to pursue, to compete, to leave the past far behind, to explore more seeming unlikely and impossible areas. That's human nature, you can point it out, but you can't say, "it's bad", because that's what drives us forward, that's why we human are different from animals, a soul never gets enough of what he has, a soul never gets tired of pursuing.
Monday, July 20, 2015
The Glass Castle - The kid got burnt... amazingly vivid memory makes it unrealistic
So, the second chapter of the book is recalling the girl's experience of getting burnt by fire and sent to hospital, how she spend her days in hospital at the age of THREE!
"The nurses and doctors always asked how I was feeling and if I was hungry or needed anything. The nurses brought me delicious meals three times a day, with fruit cocktail or JellO for dessert, and changed the sheets even if they still looked clean. Sometimes I read to them, and they told me I was very smart and could read as well as a sixyearold."
Well... do anyone of you remember anything from your 3rd year of your life? I can't. I had an accident as well, if not later than 3 years old then it would also be around 3 years old, I got burnt on my leg and butt, till today, 20 years later, my whole left thigh is covered with a large scar, yet I don't remember a thing about that incident, everything I know is what my parents told me. Is it possible to remember the details of day to day life at your 3 year-old? I doubt it, so many details only made it unrealistic.
What do you think?
... maybe it turned out to be a dream or illusion of the character's, in that case a vivid memory won't be absurd.
"The nurses and doctors always asked how I was feeling and if I was hungry or needed anything. The nurses brought me delicious meals three times a day, with fruit cocktail or JellO for dessert, and changed the sheets even if they still looked clean. Sometimes I read to them, and they told me I was very smart and could read as well as a sixyearold."
Well... do anyone of you remember anything from your 3rd year of your life? I can't. I had an accident as well, if not later than 3 years old then it would also be around 3 years old, I got burnt on my leg and butt, till today, 20 years later, my whole left thigh is covered with a large scar, yet I don't remember a thing about that incident, everything I know is what my parents told me. Is it possible to remember the details of day to day life at your 3 year-old? I doubt it, so many details only made it unrealistic.
What do you think?
... maybe it turned out to be a dream or illusion of the character's, in that case a vivid memory won't be absurd.
The windows | A short story |
It was a Sunday evening, I was taking a walk along Fondamenta Zattere in Venice, it's a long street along the shore. Some musicians are playing guitar and singing, seem part of promoting team for the famous local drink spritz.
I was on my way to see a friend at 8:30, but it was still early, the sun is setting, releasing comfortable warm light. Walking slowly, observing every notable person on the street, some smiling, some taking photos, some watching the sea, some looking at their phones, some waving, some shouting, some laughing and talking, some walking in hurry, some kids chasing each other, some taking water from the fountain...
And there's this guy I noticed, standing right in front of the library of university, holding a black shirt in his hand, his body was facing the sun, so was the shirt he was holding, but he was looking over the canal, seems looking for something, watching something? All the other people just walked by him. After a while he flipped the shirt around, still holding in the same position. The wind constantly comes from southeast, so his shirt was like a flag in his hands, lifting toward west. Then he turn the shirt around again, still, same position, it's like there's something he wants to catch in the wind, or maybe he wants to catch the wind.
I stopped near him, looked around quickly, nobody else seems notice this guy's weird behavior, maybe it's just me? Anyway, I went up to him and asked:
"Hey, man, what you doing here, is it a some sort of performance or something?" I pointed at his shirt.
He frowned very briefly and turned his face to me slowly.
"If you throw me some coins you can call it performance."
"Well, then... is this some experiment?"
"No."
"Oh, okay, haha..." I faked laughing awkwardly as I always do, "sorry to interrupt you, have a nice evening!" Then I walked away.
"I'm counting the windows!" He said in a high volume, I turned around, I've been a few meters away from him, I quickly looked around, instinctively, still nobody seems notice him.
"Sorry, what?"
"I am counting, how many windows are there."
"How many windows where?" I found the answer quite disappointing, he's counting windows? What... why?
"How many windows are there in my sight," He turned a bit around to me with his feet fixed on where he stood. "if the number is 999, then something interesting will happen."
"What interesting thing?"
"Look at that yellow house next to the church, I'm there, 893 windows, from left to right, almost to the end." He motioned to the direction he was talking about with his elbow, still holding the shirt. The houses look so small since they are far far away from us.
"Well... okay... then I guess there would be approximately 1000 windows? Or 999 windows, as you said." I was confused, I remember when I was kid, my father asked me to come to the balcony to count how many windows are there on a big building in the centre of the town, I could never get it right, every time I lost my focus in the middle, like "15...16...17...where was I?" So I tried to count the windows on the other side of the canal, without even thinking about a reason why I would do that.
After counting to 50, I already lost my patience , I turned to him:
"Well...."
"Shhh...." he stopped me, frowning, looked very serious.
I just stared at his face, he looked nervous, then I looked to the direction he was looking, it's almost the end, the very right end of the horizon.
Finally he breathed out a long breath with a huge relief. "It, is, nine hundred, ninety-nine windows."
"Whaaat... really?" I looked at him, and then I remembered something important, "hey, didn't you say that something would happen once you counted 999 windows?"
"Yeah, but I can't show you, you gotta see it yourself."
"Well, I technically saw it together with you, I saw you counted to 999."
"That doesn't count, I counted 999 windows, that's my number, you might not find the 999th window, you might find only 998 windows and you'll get frustrated that you miss counted one, then you count it again, it's still 998 windows, then you will wonder what is wrong... well, anyway, you might not find the 999th window.
"Here," he gave me his shirt and stood one step back, "you must hold this shirt like I did, and stand exactly where I am, because this is the exactly right spot."
I obeyed and took the shirt, looking at the very left side, trying to find a reasonable start point, then a question popped up in my head:
"Hey, wait, how long did it take you to count to 999? I got an...." as saying, I turned around and found him disappeared, "...a.. appointment." I murmured the last word. He's gone, nowhere to be found, not on the left side of the street, not on the right side, definitely not in the library, he can't be that fast, it was like only 2 seconds, no one can be that fast.
I took a deep breath and started counting, from the very left side.
I know it seems will take a long time to finish, but hey, counting from 1 to 999, how hard is that, I told myself.
As counting, I smiled to the island, I didn't know why.
I was on my way to see a friend at 8:30, but it was still early, the sun is setting, releasing comfortable warm light. Walking slowly, observing every notable person on the street, some smiling, some taking photos, some watching the sea, some looking at their phones, some waving, some shouting, some laughing and talking, some walking in hurry, some kids chasing each other, some taking water from the fountain...
And there's this guy I noticed, standing right in front of the library of university, holding a black shirt in his hand, his body was facing the sun, so was the shirt he was holding, but he was looking over the canal, seems looking for something, watching something? All the other people just walked by him. After a while he flipped the shirt around, still holding in the same position. The wind constantly comes from southeast, so his shirt was like a flag in his hands, lifting toward west. Then he turn the shirt around again, still, same position, it's like there's something he wants to catch in the wind, or maybe he wants to catch the wind.
I stopped near him, looked around quickly, nobody else seems notice this guy's weird behavior, maybe it's just me? Anyway, I went up to him and asked:
"Hey, man, what you doing here, is it a some sort of performance or something?" I pointed at his shirt.
He frowned very briefly and turned his face to me slowly.
"If you throw me some coins you can call it performance."
"Well, then... is this some experiment?"
"No."
"Oh, okay, haha..." I faked laughing awkwardly as I always do, "sorry to interrupt you, have a nice evening!" Then I walked away.
"I'm counting the windows!" He said in a high volume, I turned around, I've been a few meters away from him, I quickly looked around, instinctively, still nobody seems notice him.
"Sorry, what?"
"I am counting, how many windows are there."
"How many windows where?" I found the answer quite disappointing, he's counting windows? What... why?
"How many windows are there in my sight," He turned a bit around to me with his feet fixed on where he stood. "if the number is 999, then something interesting will happen."
"What interesting thing?"
"Look at that yellow house next to the church, I'm there, 893 windows, from left to right, almost to the end." He motioned to the direction he was talking about with his elbow, still holding the shirt. The houses look so small since they are far far away from us.
"Well... okay... then I guess there would be approximately 1000 windows? Or 999 windows, as you said." I was confused, I remember when I was kid, my father asked me to come to the balcony to count how many windows are there on a big building in the centre of the town, I could never get it right, every time I lost my focus in the middle, like "15...16...17...where was I?" So I tried to count the windows on the other side of the canal, without even thinking about a reason why I would do that.
After counting to 50, I already lost my patience , I turned to him:
"Well...."
"Shhh...." he stopped me, frowning, looked very serious.
I just stared at his face, he looked nervous, then I looked to the direction he was looking, it's almost the end, the very right end of the horizon.
Finally he breathed out a long breath with a huge relief. "It, is, nine hundred, ninety-nine windows."
"Whaaat... really?" I looked at him, and then I remembered something important, "hey, didn't you say that something would happen once you counted 999 windows?"
"Yeah, but I can't show you, you gotta see it yourself."
"Well, I technically saw it together with you, I saw you counted to 999."
"That doesn't count, I counted 999 windows, that's my number, you might not find the 999th window, you might find only 998 windows and you'll get frustrated that you miss counted one, then you count it again, it's still 998 windows, then you will wonder what is wrong... well, anyway, you might not find the 999th window.
"Here," he gave me his shirt and stood one step back, "you must hold this shirt like I did, and stand exactly where I am, because this is the exactly right spot."
I obeyed and took the shirt, looking at the very left side, trying to find a reasonable start point, then a question popped up in my head:
"Hey, wait, how long did it take you to count to 999? I got an...." as saying, I turned around and found him disappeared, "...a.. appointment." I murmured the last word. He's gone, nowhere to be found, not on the left side of the street, not on the right side, definitely not in the library, he can't be that fast, it was like only 2 seconds, no one can be that fast.
I took a deep breath and started counting, from the very left side.
I know it seems will take a long time to finish, but hey, counting from 1 to 999, how hard is that, I told myself.
As counting, I smiled to the island, I didn't know why.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Street Life Day 3, ich bin homeless seit schon drei Tage
Heute ist der dritten Tag.
Es ist Sonntag, und Sonntag ist night so gut für mich, eine Person die lebt von öffentlichen Bibliothek. Die Toilett, die AC, die Sitze, die Steckdose, d Wifi, alle brauche ich, aber am Sonntag öffnet die Bibliothek nicht so lang wie andere Tage.
Gestern Nacht hatte ich kaum geschlafen, weiß ich nicht warum aber ich war über-sensitive und fühlte mich ganz unsicher, jeder 2 Minuten müsste ich mal meine Augen öffnen and herum zu blicken, nur dann fühlte ich besser ... für nur 2 andre Minuten.
Ich hatte 4 Episodes von Earbiscuits auf meine Handy heruntergeladen, hörte ich wieder under wieder. Ich habe auch versucht ein Movie zu gucken aber mein Laptop Battery ging aus bevor der Schluss des Films.
Heute war ich in ganz schlechte situation, müsste ich auf Toilett gehen aber keine Gebäude der Universität waren geöffnet am Morgan, dann ging ich auf der Toilett auf Bahnhof, 2 Euro gekostet... ma, besser als ins Shorts scheissen.
Dann... bin ich in viele Geschäfts gewesen, wie z.B Tiger, super schön klein Shop, du findest alle interestante, neugerige kleine Sache. Mein Hauptziel war ein Sunglasses, fand ich so viele und so günstig, nur 4 Euro! Auf der Straße ist so jede Brille zumindest 10 Euro! Hatte ich gar nicht gedacht, dann kaufte ich ein paar. Dann bin ich auch in Buchgeschäft gegangen, ein Französisch Textbuch gekauft, auf Italienisch, damit ich nicht nur Französisch aber auch Italienisch lernen könnte!
Am Nachmittag kam ich in der Bibliothek endlich, habe ich mit meine Eltern gechatted, über viele Probleme gesprochen, sehr mütig aber erfolgreich auch, wir verstehen sich uns besser nach diesem Gespräch, glaub ich.
Ja das ist alles für der Tage Drei, heute Nacht wird der Beginn des Vierten Tages!
--------------------
July 20 2015 add:
this writing is quite confusing... I had a bad morning on 19th, Sunday, not on the "third day" which is actually 18th, Saturday. I started on 16th, Thursday, in the morning I cleaned up apartment and carried a lot of stuff to my friends, then gave two English lessons, moved out in the afternoon, started my first night being homeless. Then 17th, second day, second night, 18th third day, third night,
19th fourth day and ended homelessness. The time was confusing probably because I always write about the previous day on the next day.
Es ist Sonntag, und Sonntag ist night so gut für mich, eine Person die lebt von öffentlichen Bibliothek. Die Toilett, die AC, die Sitze, die Steckdose, d Wifi, alle brauche ich, aber am Sonntag öffnet die Bibliothek nicht so lang wie andere Tage.
Gestern Nacht hatte ich kaum geschlafen, weiß ich nicht warum aber ich war über-sensitive und fühlte mich ganz unsicher, jeder 2 Minuten müsste ich mal meine Augen öffnen and herum zu blicken, nur dann fühlte ich besser ... für nur 2 andre Minuten.
Ich hatte 4 Episodes von Earbiscuits auf meine Handy heruntergeladen, hörte ich wieder under wieder. Ich habe auch versucht ein Movie zu gucken aber mein Laptop Battery ging aus bevor der Schluss des Films.
Heute war ich in ganz schlechte situation, müsste ich auf Toilett gehen aber keine Gebäude der Universität waren geöffnet am Morgan, dann ging ich auf der Toilett auf Bahnhof, 2 Euro gekostet... ma, besser als ins Shorts scheissen.
Dann... bin ich in viele Geschäfts gewesen, wie z.B Tiger, super schön klein Shop, du findest alle interestante, neugerige kleine Sache. Mein Hauptziel war ein Sunglasses, fand ich so viele und so günstig, nur 4 Euro! Auf der Straße ist so jede Brille zumindest 10 Euro! Hatte ich gar nicht gedacht, dann kaufte ich ein paar. Dann bin ich auch in Buchgeschäft gegangen, ein Französisch Textbuch gekauft, auf Italienisch, damit ich nicht nur Französisch aber auch Italienisch lernen könnte!
Am Nachmittag kam ich in der Bibliothek endlich, habe ich mit meine Eltern gechatted, über viele Probleme gesprochen, sehr mütig aber erfolgreich auch, wir verstehen sich uns besser nach diesem Gespräch, glaub ich.
Ja das ist alles für der Tage Drei, heute Nacht wird der Beginn des Vierten Tages!
--------------------
July 20 2015 add:
this writing is quite confusing... I had a bad morning on 19th, Sunday, not on the "third day" which is actually 18th, Saturday. I started on 16th, Thursday, in the morning I cleaned up apartment and carried a lot of stuff to my friends, then gave two English lessons, moved out in the afternoon, started my first night being homeless. Then 17th, second day, second night, 18th third day, third night,
19th fourth day and ended homelessness. The time was confusing probably because I always write about the previous day on the next day.
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Fighting the Venice island | Street Life Day 2
This artificial island under my feet has humiliated me on the very first day I arrived, caused huge misery and trauma to me, and also to my family, on new year's eve it attempted to rob me again but I didn't let it happen that time. Me and this false island, are enemy, you didn't kill me, now it's my turn to conquer you!
Sometimes people ask me, do you like Venice? I usually respond "yes of course, it's beautiful" without even thinking, because it's just a polite saying, I don't want to go into detail about how the island stole my priceless personal belongings and thousands of Euro's worth stuff plus cash on the very first day of arrival to every single person who asked. Seriously, don't ask me again whether I like or not Venice, I hate this island, even though currently I'm having a great life here, I'm getting so much familiar with the name, so much bonded with this name....
So, I show you how I survive on the island, see, I can survive, I step on your head all night long, you can't do me no harm any more!
Every piece of brick and stone need to be overcome by me, you time travelling giant monster, people don't know but you are alive, your old old ghost hiding in every gap of the stone, and I am here to battle you, wrestle you, kill you.
And you shall never do harm to innocent again.
Humans are avatars of higher intelligent beings | Purpose of life?
Human life is a game designed for a higher level beings, our world is a simulation. Just like movie Avatar, we are all "avatars" of somebody higher than us. Their brain process way much more information that we can't even perceive, they try to talk to us would be like we human try to talk to monkeys. Since they are intelligently higher, why do they come into our life (or design our life form entirely) to live us? (everyone of us has a real controller behind us, they are us in the meantime, they live our lives, or to say we live our lives to let them experience our lives. A higher intelligent being may not be able to understand lower being, like we don't fully understand all the other animals on planet earth. Also, if avatar hypothesis were true, there must be a meaning of this avatar program, these higher beings must want to know something from us(their game), there is a purpose of all these that are designed for the users. What animal would you want to be if you have the chance to experience for a day? A bird that flies high? A fish that swims deep in the ocean? They want to experience something. Being human is not just about flying or swimming or any physical experience, maybe they need some emotional perspective from us, they designed us to learn better about love, emotion, spirit and body relation (suppose they don't have "flesh body" but pure energy existence) etc.
Think about it.
Friday, July 17, 2015
How To Sell Beer To Strangers On Street #streetlife day 1
First night of my homelessness, I attempted something I'm pretty proud about: selling beer to random strangers on street.
Where does the idea come from? Well, simple, beer in pubs is generally expensive, some even dare to sell at 6 or 7 Euro a bottle (660ml). I studied some brands of beer in supermarket, I can sell smaller bottle of beer (330ml) and also bigger ones (660ml). Smaller bottle costs 0.56-0.8 Euro per bottle, I would sell at 1.50 Euro. Bigger bottle usually costs 1.20 Euro, I'd sell at 2.5 Euro.
I bought 7 bottles of variety of beer and carried to one of the most popular hang-out place to sell. Only one sold, and it's sold to a friend at a discounted price.
Santa Margherita Venezia, full of young people every night
Problems: 1.definitely huge trust issues, I wouldn't just buy beer from a stranger on street myself
2.The beer is not cold enough: having difficulties accessing fridge (since I'm currently in homeless situation), I bearly had them cooled for an hour and brought there, the only stranger who showed interested lost it after trying the temperature of the beer.
3.Selling skills. I was far from being a smooth talker when I was selling. I got nervous, my voice turned a little "Jesse Pinkman", sounds like I'm selling meth in Breaking Bag. Oh by the way it's way easier to get strangers to trust the weed you sell than the beer on street.
I invested 7.8 Euro, had only 2 Euro of income, 5.8 Euro loss (me and my friends consumed some of the unwanted inventory)... well, I may be back, brothers, I may just be the no.1 beer seller on street next time, what can I lose, I'm homeless, brother.
Where does the idea come from? Well, simple, beer in pubs is generally expensive, some even dare to sell at 6 or 7 Euro a bottle (660ml). I studied some brands of beer in supermarket, I can sell smaller bottle of beer (330ml) and also bigger ones (660ml). Smaller bottle costs 0.56-0.8 Euro per bottle, I would sell at 1.50 Euro. Bigger bottle usually costs 1.20 Euro, I'd sell at 2.5 Euro.
I bought 7 bottles of variety of beer and carried to one of the most popular hang-out place to sell. Only one sold, and it's sold to a friend at a discounted price.
Problems: 1.definitely huge trust issues, I wouldn't just buy beer from a stranger on street myself
2.The beer is not cold enough: having difficulties accessing fridge (since I'm currently in homeless situation), I bearly had them cooled for an hour and brought there, the only stranger who showed interested lost it after trying the temperature of the beer.
3.Selling skills. I was far from being a smooth talker when I was selling. I got nervous, my voice turned a little "Jesse Pinkman", sounds like I'm selling meth in Breaking Bag. Oh by the way it's way easier to get strangers to trust the weed you sell than the beer on street.
I invested 7.8 Euro, had only 2 Euro of income, 5.8 Euro loss (me and my friends consumed some of the unwanted inventory)... well, I may be back, brothers, I may just be the no.1 beer seller on street next time, what can I lose, I'm homeless, brother.
Street Life Experience Day 1 --- Soul Exchange With Baby Cat
Over 2 a.m, I was walking in my most familiar alley in Venice, a cat popped up his head in my way, staring at me with his light-reflecting eyes. I've been living around here for a year but only seen him once before, he's got very beautiful fur, on the top is grey tiger pattern, half way down below is white. I approached him, he didn't run away, but meowed to me. When I was close enough, I crouched down, he came to me and rub on the side of my leg, the one which is horizontal at crouching position. I tried to stroke his fur but he was still a little cautious, subtly walked away, and then turn around rub my leg one more time, and meow. When I stood up and walked along, he followed me.
I love cats, since my ex taught me how to communicate with cats.
One of the reason I sensed some amazingly mysterious quality in her was because she attracted cats following when we were just taking some strolls on the street. Not just that, she can communicate with cats, which I couldn't, I had never had contact with cats before, except once when I was kid I put my face really close to observe my aunt's cat hiding behind a sofa and got a good scratch on face from her. Well there was one night me and my ex were sitting on grass, beautiful German night, clear sky, wide open grass field surrounded by some small houses and corn field.
Meow...
We heard something, she motioned me to be silent and following the meowing, she found a baby cat, very little, well, not really a baby that little, but just enough to run and meow around. That was adorable, the baby cat was just sitting at a bit distance from us, meowing toward us. What does he want? Well I don't remember how exactly she cast the magic to tame the cat but after a blink she and the baby cat are already playing together. She even tried to teach him to climb up a little tree: holding him up on the trunk of a tree and the cat a little nervously scratching the tree with four paws. In the end he seemed have learn some techniques, just that once he climbs up, my ex has to help him down. First time climbing up a tree, baby cat.
We played with the cat for quite a while, then we decided to leave, unexpectedly the cat follows us faithfully, running right behind us with little rapid steps. This baby cat is lost and he needs a family.
That night the baby cat stayed at my dormitory room, enjoyed some milk and almost kept me from sleeping all night.
"Cats are evil, when you stay in the same room with them alone for a night, they will exchange their soul with yours while you sleep..." she said.
"Whaaaat?" : O I was like this, me when I never knew how to communicate with a cat.
Obviously I bought it even though she's just messing with me. After treating him milk, she returned her dorm, left me and baby cat alone in my room... hm... looking into his eyes, yeah, there is a little bit evilness indeed, if you think that way, well.. ugh... and he stares at me... for what? The purr, sounds scary.... dang it! I can't sleep with the cat staring at me, he's gonna steal my body and become me tomorrow! I locked him up in the bathroom, well, you know what could happen next, he kept meowing and scratching the door begging to be released, but it all only gave me spooky feeling and goose bumps... I got more and more nervous... No way, don't think about it, You are evil, your crying is evil, you are gonna hurt me if I let you out...
Couldn't really fall asleep with the meowing, poor thing, maybe he isn't one of the soul trader, maybe he's too little, still innocent as a cat? I let him out, he climbed on my bed, silent, only purr......
Don't get too close to me! I pushed him backwards, farther from my head, closer to my feet. Then I fell asleep...
Baby cat.
Last night I was walking in my most familiar alley in Venice, only this time without the key to my apartment, well, not my apartment any more, like the first day I arrived here, didn't have a key.
Emptiness filled inside me. I was looking for a place to sleep, on street, I could come up with a lot of solutions based on my daily observe and familiarity of this area. Like a cat, I've got my territory, I disappear in the darkness, no one shall know where I rest, and I come out into daylight after some restless, alarmed false sleep.
The insects and mosquitoes really disturb me, so I moved from one place to another, and another, and another, there's no other homeless people on the street, not even one, but I met four cats in total.
5 a.m I found the best place next to the "sea", sun is rising, a little wind blowing, cooling down the rest of one day's heat, I had a pretty good sleep there, water traffic started as well. Then 6:30 a.m it got kind of cold, I went to sleep on a bench in the sunshine, there was a Jew in black robe, slowly jogging with one dumbbell in each hand, looked really funny.
The other three cats I met all ran away from me, you see, I don't have the magic, at least not always.
I wish I didn't lock you up in the bathroom, I wish I didn't push you back to my feet side, I wish I hugged you while sleep. Baby cat, have I become you? And you've become me?
I love cats, since my ex taught me how to communicate with cats.
One of the reason I sensed some amazingly mysterious quality in her was because she attracted cats following when we were just taking some strolls on the street. Not just that, she can communicate with cats, which I couldn't, I had never had contact with cats before, except once when I was kid I put my face really close to observe my aunt's cat hiding behind a sofa and got a good scratch on face from her. Well there was one night me and my ex were sitting on grass, beautiful German night, clear sky, wide open grass field surrounded by some small houses and corn field.
Meow...
We heard something, she motioned me to be silent and following the meowing, she found a baby cat, very little, well, not really a baby that little, but just enough to run and meow around. That was adorable, the baby cat was just sitting at a bit distance from us, meowing toward us. What does he want? Well I don't remember how exactly she cast the magic to tame the cat but after a blink she and the baby cat are already playing together. She even tried to teach him to climb up a little tree: holding him up on the trunk of a tree and the cat a little nervously scratching the tree with four paws. In the end he seemed have learn some techniques, just that once he climbs up, my ex has to help him down. First time climbing up a tree, baby cat.
We played with the cat for quite a while, then we decided to leave, unexpectedly the cat follows us faithfully, running right behind us with little rapid steps. This baby cat is lost and he needs a family.
That night the baby cat stayed at my dormitory room, enjoyed some milk and almost kept me from sleeping all night.
"Cats are evil, when you stay in the same room with them alone for a night, they will exchange their soul with yours while you sleep..." she said.
"Whaaaat?" : O I was like this, me when I never knew how to communicate with a cat.
Obviously I bought it even though she's just messing with me. After treating him milk, she returned her dorm, left me and baby cat alone in my room... hm... looking into his eyes, yeah, there is a little bit evilness indeed, if you think that way, well.. ugh... and he stares at me... for what? The purr, sounds scary.... dang it! I can't sleep with the cat staring at me, he's gonna steal my body and become me tomorrow! I locked him up in the bathroom, well, you know what could happen next, he kept meowing and scratching the door begging to be released, but it all only gave me spooky feeling and goose bumps... I got more and more nervous... No way, don't think about it, You are evil, your crying is evil, you are gonna hurt me if I let you out...
Couldn't really fall asleep with the meowing, poor thing, maybe he isn't one of the soul trader, maybe he's too little, still innocent as a cat? I let him out, he climbed on my bed, silent, only purr......
Don't get too close to me! I pushed him backwards, farther from my head, closer to my feet. Then I fell asleep...
Baby cat.
Last night I was walking in my most familiar alley in Venice, only this time without the key to my apartment, well, not my apartment any more, like the first day I arrived here, didn't have a key.
Emptiness filled inside me. I was looking for a place to sleep, on street, I could come up with a lot of solutions based on my daily observe and familiarity of this area. Like a cat, I've got my territory, I disappear in the darkness, no one shall know where I rest, and I come out into daylight after some restless, alarmed false sleep.
The insects and mosquitoes really disturb me, so I moved from one place to another, and another, and another, there's no other homeless people on the street, not even one, but I met four cats in total.
5 a.m I found the best place next to the "sea", sun is rising, a little wind blowing, cooling down the rest of one day's heat, I had a pretty good sleep there, water traffic started as well. Then 6:30 a.m it got kind of cold, I went to sleep on a bench in the sunshine, there was a Jew in black robe, slowly jogging with one dumbbell in each hand, looked really funny.
The other three cats I met all ran away from me, you see, I don't have the magic, at least not always.
I wish I didn't lock you up in the bathroom, I wish I didn't push you back to my feet side, I wish I hugged you while sleep. Baby cat, have I become you? And you've become me?
oya
we used to be like this
baby cat grew up should look like this
and run, kitten, run
never look back
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Should teachers/trainers be tough? Is being harsh on students right? | after watching movie whiplash
You want to pass everything you know onto your student, you want your student to be excellent, you have high expectation, what if your student isn't as good as you require yet? Should you be touch, be harsh, even abusive like in the movie?
I teach English and Chinese and I mostly compliment and encourage my students, let them know that I appreciate what they are doing correctly and then point out the mistakes as well. After watching the movie, I just wonder, what if I get tough on my students? What would happen? Well, I dare not to experiment at the risk of frustrate them or even entirely destroy their interest in the subject.
English for kids, Chinese for college students, probably not something that they are really passionate about, not as much as Andrew Neiman the main character loves Jazz music at least. Being harsh to a student can work, even work very well, only if the student is the right material, the right person, only if the student has the passion, and you are sure that your being harsh can't diminish his/her passion at all, only make it stronger.
I wish I had a harsh tennis coach, for that's where my true passion is.
How's the life of being homeless?
I'm about to experience it.
My apartment contract ends on 15th July (today is 14th July), from 16th to the end of July I haven't found any place yet... it is difficult to find an apartment available for only half month's rent...
and also deep inside I feel a bit resistant to finding an apartment, first of all I don't want to pay any more, second, the idea of homelessness seems quite appealing.
There are quite a lot of fountains scattered on the island of Venice, I can wash my faces, drink, brush teeth, all done in public, problems are, I need internet, I need to teach class online, and where should I sleep at night? I've bought a sleepingbag, ready for the worst, but still, finding a peaceful and safe spot out door isn't easy. First of all I'll deposit all my valuable belongings at my friends' home. Then I'm free to sleep wherever I like. What about mosquitoes and other insects who are active at night? Probably I'm gonna keep a pair of earphones in my ear all night to prevent anything crawling into my brain.
Another solution, go sleep at friends' by turn, 3 days at this guy's home, 3 days that girl's place, and there will be basic supplies like water.
Oh right, if I really sleep on street, where do I cook my meal? How am I supposed to eat? Do I eat only ready food from supermarket? So many puzzles about being homeless. Tell you what, it is miserable yet so exciting.
Let's see, 16th July morning I'll move out, onto the street.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Fast track -- pay to jump the queue | What money can't buy
In many places it is now possible to pay to skip the suffer of waiting in a long line, when you are in restaurant at a busy night, give some handsome tips and you get a table immediately. Some airports publicly offer fast track through security check, as long as you are willing to pay more. In amusement park, theatre, tourist attractions, wherever you can think of that will be a queue.
Is it morally corrosive? Has market brought it too far that these practices may undermine the idea of equality? Here is what I think:
We make money by investing our time and energy, every penny represents some effort we paid in the past, so that we can purchase goods or services that may reduce our effort in the future. Paying for a fast track is pretty much like a service helps you to spare some energy by paying what you earned, not so unfair, right? I'm not rich, I'm one of those supposedly should complain about the rich people who pay to jump the queue, but I'd actually think, by waiting in the queue I spare some money that they paid for the time saved. All depends on how much you think your time is worthy, especially your time at the very moment, like if you are in emergency, I bet you'd love to pay to get past the security line earlier as well, even if you have always being a sparing person.
Let me know what do you think of fast track? Would you get upset facing some people jumping the queue by giving up more cash? Or would you be one of the people prefer to pay rather than wait? Let me know in the comment.
I'm reading the book what money can't buy
Is it morally corrosive? Has market brought it too far that these practices may undermine the idea of equality? Here is what I think:
We make money by investing our time and energy, every penny represents some effort we paid in the past, so that we can purchase goods or services that may reduce our effort in the future. Paying for a fast track is pretty much like a service helps you to spare some energy by paying what you earned, not so unfair, right? I'm not rich, I'm one of those supposedly should complain about the rich people who pay to jump the queue, but I'd actually think, by waiting in the queue I spare some money that they paid for the time saved. All depends on how much you think your time is worthy, especially your time at the very moment, like if you are in emergency, I bet you'd love to pay to get past the security line earlier as well, even if you have always being a sparing person.
Let me know what do you think of fast track? Would you get upset facing some people jumping the queue by giving up more cash? Or would you be one of the people prefer to pay rather than wait? Let me know in the comment.
I'm reading the book what money can't buy
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Deliberated horribly written poem
1.
I, used to be a poet
every night I exploit
my crazy and lazy mind
you don't get fined
if your poems suck
so let's drive the truck
with full load of trash
before thoughts burn into ash
2.Writing poems is easy
just stay up all night
drink up all the beer in the fridge
and come up with...
oh you don't have beer?
Then why you have a fridge?
3.
The exam is coming soon
but I haven't studied
because I'm constantly distracted
by my own beautiful existence
look at myself from the inner eyes
hey you are here, too!
4.
Oh moon, why don't you love me exclusively
is it because I'm too ordinary among
all the people on the dirty earth
while your light is too generous
to be given to only one person
5.
gummy bear candy baby
wear color yellow red and green
why are you all so sweet
get me addicted... addicted
my soul follows your scent
whenever I shop in the supermarket
finally I brought you home... to my home
bite and chew every single of you
oh my baby gummy bear candy
6.
a beautiful cat
an ugly cat
pick one of them
either this or that one
they both are called cat
7.
Oh piles of books,
how am I supposed to consume
so much of you
page after page
thousands of pages
you are a whole lot of pages
made piles
and I read at a speed of
10 pages a day
police said that's too slow
for the freeway
8.
It rained
it's nothing different from other rains
just a rain
but happened today
9.
I haven't written
the next poem
so I leave a blank
for it
10.
My eager, my desire, are so strong
pull me closer and closer to you
to open your pack and touch you
and put you in my mouth
oh gummy bear
but every time after a full pack of eating
I feel again empty and hollow
as if for quite a moment
I stop being the poet of my life
11.
I'm in the library
thinking about poetry
how some people suck
when they tried to be smart
I'm also one of them
but sitting in a different library
in a different country
12.
I'm back from library
but it's a month in between
I didn't stay there all this time
just happen to write again when
I'm just back from library again
13.
Our sun went down the horizon
some stars lit up
are they over or under their horizons?
14.
Why, while an economist knows to appreciate literature
a more open-minded writer despises money
I, used to be a poet
every night I exploit
my crazy and lazy mind
you don't get fined
if your poems suck
so let's drive the truck
with full load of trash
before thoughts burn into ash
2.Writing poems is easy
just stay up all night
drink up all the beer in the fridge
and come up with...
oh you don't have beer?
Then why you have a fridge?
3.
The exam is coming soon
but I haven't studied
because I'm constantly distracted
by my own beautiful existence
look at myself from the inner eyes
hey you are here, too!
4.
Oh moon, why don't you love me exclusively
is it because I'm too ordinary among
all the people on the dirty earth
while your light is too generous
to be given to only one person
5.
gummy bear candy baby
wear color yellow red and green
why are you all so sweet
get me addicted... addicted
my soul follows your scent
whenever I shop in the supermarket
finally I brought you home... to my home
bite and chew every single of you
oh my baby gummy bear candy
6.
a beautiful cat
an ugly cat
pick one of them
either this or that one
they both are called cat
7.
Oh piles of books,
how am I supposed to consume
so much of you
page after page
thousands of pages
you are a whole lot of pages
made piles
and I read at a speed of
10 pages a day
police said that's too slow
for the freeway
8.
It rained
it's nothing different from other rains
just a rain
but happened today
9.
I haven't written
the next poem
so I leave a blank
for it
10.
My eager, my desire, are so strong
pull me closer and closer to you
to open your pack and touch you
and put you in my mouth
oh gummy bear
but every time after a full pack of eating
I feel again empty and hollow
as if for quite a moment
I stop being the poet of my life
11.
I'm in the library
thinking about poetry
how some people suck
when they tried to be smart
I'm also one of them
but sitting in a different library
in a different country
12.
I'm back from library
but it's a month in between
I didn't stay there all this time
just happen to write again when
I'm just back from library again
13.
Our sun went down the horizon
some stars lit up
are they over or under their horizons?
14.
Why, while an economist knows to appreciate literature
a more open-minded writer despises money
Monday, April 27, 2015
"Tabuzone": Where do these yellow squares on the Rathausplatz come from?
Some mysterious yellow squares with signs saying "FKK" or "Tabuzone" appeared on Rathhausplatz(City Hall Plaza) and Königsplatz (King Plaza) in Augsburg.
In the past several days many visitors of the city have been anticipating what on earth are these squares? In the picture above you can see some with "W-Lan Free" and "picknicdecke", very funny.
Now the secret is revealed, it's an art work of two design students in the college. One is called Antonia Kern(left), 20 years old, another is Janina Hellmig, 21 years old.They are not making jokes out of boredom, it's part of their serious art projects in their course called "visual communication". The task is to redefine the boundary of open space without causing any damage.
Here they are, sitting in the "picknic corner", schoen!
They didn't do it at night, well, if I were going to do something like this, I'd definitely choose night, but these girls went there in the morning 8:30, spent 1 hour to stick yellow tapes on the ground, and they were actually spotted by police, but since the latter didn't say anything, they take it as permitted. Well done!
Soon people took full advantage of their art work, started resting and hanging out there in the squares, the girls got a surprisingly good response and wide attention.
It's nothing like provocation, they just want to bring more color to the city, to the Rathausplatz they all love hanging out at.
----loosely translated from Augsburger Allgemeine, written by Sophia Gandenheimer, 27 April, 2015,
As you can see, even without the yellow squares, young people have always been sitting there in groups spontaneously, now these squares bring them more legitimacy and exclusively occupying feeling while sitting. Hey I want to sit there too, it's fun! Darf ich auch hierhin sitzen?
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